Suggested Readings
Self Esteem and Getting Ahead
written by Barbara J. Braam
When I found myself 38 and single and still not sure what men really wanted in relationships, I decided to interview some single men and bachelors asking them pointed questions about dating and their views on relationships. One of my bachelors who at the time was 59, he asked me the question “Why do women have such low self-esteem of themselves”. My response so him was of course “I don’t have low self-esteem, in fact I love myself”. However, I realized I was taken aback at that question because I felt like there was something he saw in women (even very educated women) that as a man, he felt they didn’t really like themselves. I found myself awake at 4:00 one morning and I did an amazon search and the Lord directed me to this book. The breakthrough I uncovered about the information written concerning self-esteem, was not just about having “high” self-esteem of yourself, but in the behavior of those around you have are struggling with liking themselves and how they unknowingly make you feel bad because they are dealing with their own situation. We realize as Christians that sometimes when we find ourselves in an argument or heated fellowship, that although it may not be because of anything we have done, but their skillful ability to deflect guilt and blame upon you causes you to feel bad about yourself. Take the time to learn what Self Esteem really is and how to be able to detect someone who is struggling with loving themselves. With that knowledge, you now know what to pray for and can help them learn how to ask God to help them in the areas where they are weak with loving themselves. For if we are made in his image, then can turn our feelings about who we are around.
Book Table Of Contents
Pt. 1 Understanding Self-Esteem
Unit 1 What is Self-Esteem?
Unit 2 The Rise and Fall of Self-Esteem
Unit 3 Where Does Self-Esteem Come From?
Pt. 2 The Causes of Low Self-Esteem
Unit 4 Negative Thinking
Unit 5 Mistaken Beliefs
Unit 6 Comparisons and Your Self-Esteem
Unit 7 Perfectionism
Pt. 3 Build Your Self-Esteem
Unit 8 Know Thyself
Unit 9 Express Yourself
Unit 10 Know Your Values
Unit 11 Positive Self-Talk
Unit 12 I Like Myself!
What Type Am I? Discover Who You Really Are
written by Renee Baron
One thing that has helped me in my Christian journey was when the Lord let me experience the knowledge of the Myers-Briggs Typology test. What this test does is to help you to understand your personality type and then helps you to identify the personality types of others around you. What’s so very helpful about this is for example: The test assessed and confirmed that I am an extravert, introvert. My scores were so close to baseline that I showed I am very balanced in my ability to socialize with others and yet, at a certain time, I need to retreat and be home isolated from others. What this also helped me to understand about others who for example are “Extraverts”, if I am engaged in a project or an event and there is someone who shies away from the crowd and you find them more in the background than engaged or involved, they are more extravert in their personality. This type of this is very important because it helps you to respect their differences. This book is not the book or the assessment that I took many years ago, but it is a very good easy read to help a person understand the differences that exist in others and how to learn to identify and appreciate them so that we can respect each other.
Breaking Free from the Victim Trap
written by Diane Zimberoff, M.A.
A component of Dysfunction is feeling like your needs won’t ever be met, because those close to you create an atmosphere where they make you feel like your job is to only focus or care about what they need and not your what you need. You find yourself feeling like you have to be careful and cautious all the time when approaching them, because what matters to you should only be what they need. You find yourself feeling like there is a cloud of doom looming over your life all the time. In order to understand the true dynamic of dysfunction, it is critical to comprehend (understand) the many facets of dysfunctional behavior. It would be best for you to study and read about it for yourself. Now dysfunctional behavior is not new, it’s been in the Bible since the days of our beginnings with Adam and Eve. The Bible calls this the behaviors of a Carnal person or a Carnal Minded Christian. They both model the same unhealthy and un-Christ like behavior. Understanding dysfunction is not just for you but helps in understanding others you relate on a day to day basis.
Book Table Of Contents
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The Dysfunctional Family
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The Victim Personality
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The Victim Triangle
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The Victim Triangle and Sexual Abuse
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The Victim Triangle and Family Abuse
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The Addictive/Alcoholic Family
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The Victim Triangle and domestic Abuse
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I Can’t Stop
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The Victim Personality Out of Control
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Treatment of Victim Patterns
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Changing the Pattern of Rescuing
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Healing the Persecutor Personality
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The Personal Transformation Intensive
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The Healing of the Victim Reuniting With the Child Within
Facing Codependence
written by Pia Mellody
create an atmosphere where they make you feel like your job is to only focus or care about what they need and not your what you need. You find yourself feeling like you have.
Book Table Of Contents
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The Symptoms of Codependence
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Facing Codependence
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The Five Core Symptoms of Codependence
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How the Symptoms Sabotage Our Lives
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The Nature of a Child
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A Precious Child in a Functional Family
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A Precious Child in a Dysfunctional Family
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The Emotional Damage of Abuse
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From Generation to Generation
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The Roots of Codependence
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Facing Abuse
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Defenses Against Recognizing Abuse
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Physical Abuse
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Sexual Abuse
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Emotional Abuse
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Intellectual Abuse
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Spiritual Abuse
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Moving Toward Recover
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Personal Recovery
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Codependent No More
written by Melody Beattie
Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to someone else's, you may be codependent-and you may find yourself in this book-Codependent No More. With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests, Codependent No More is a simple, straightforward, readable map of the perplexing world of codependency-charting the path to freedom and a lifetime of healing, hope, and happiness